Never for Real

I just cannot sleep. Maybe it is because of the Starbucks coffee.

Maybe it is not.

Sometimes, being expressive might seem to be the best way to convey something that bothers you. And then it leads to a mentality that assures you that it would be best to keep things light, brief, on the surface.

Everyone makes mistakes. I repeat them subconciously every time. I shall not say it is due to the lack of precaution when I see the incoming signals, I just do not have the drive to treat it as a mistake, I thought and still think that it has not been a mistake. Reason being, I have not obtained a definite answer.

An answer that I never really look forward to find out. Well, maybe this is another mistake.

It is seasonal, unpredictable, tempting and often times, promising. I know it will go on and on, it just has not reached a dead end. Yet it never fails to inflict the same old feeling I used to have, the same insecurities, the same doubts because the whole process repeats itself. But I do cherish the little moments each time it knocks on my door for I can smile freely upon things that touch my heart, never faked and it comes from within.

I felt warmth from being cold. What an irony.

Opt for a change? Probably in the next generation or the generation after that. I do not see it coming at all. Simply because it's too impossible, even miracles cannot help fix the situation. For instance, you can add vanilla or chocolate flavorings into a cup of coffee but the coffee taste still outweighs. You can spice things up each time but in the end of the day, the flow remains constant. It has reached a plateau way before this.

Go for what you want. You never want to cry yourself to sleep. Again.

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My First Post

Well, to be frank, i NEVER thought that I will EVER start blogging :

At first, I did not get influenced by a friend's challenge to start a blog. He was actually hitting on my guts, questioning me repeatedly on my reluctance to do so..guess I wasn't ready at that time, there were too many commitments in the pipeline I hardly even find time to indulge in self-pampering. Blogging? Out of question! Moreover, I was keeping a "journal" of my own, an almost-everyday ranting about how my days went by, it was saved in a file which required a password, then when the virus attacked,it was washed away due to re-formatting..! I told him that it's easier that way, because you don't have to filter out names and certain words that accurately defines your mood at that time, however offensive it is. In short, you can write all you want without the need to consider the relevance of the content-or how it will affect others..bla.bla

However, the fact that distinguishes a journal and a blog is certain- u SHARE with others in your blog. Something you will never be able to do by limiting your feelings, thoughts, emotions, insights and perceptions all bottled up in the boundaries of your very own and personal diary.

Until the recent years, blogging became such a much talked about pastime, many people blog about many things, their friends, their cars, their families, their puppies-their LIFE! Also, I am surrounded by friends who possess this "new form of journal system" and the phenomenon is unbearable! In fact, the word "blog" is sometimes over-used! (Ok, did I mention that I like to exaggerate at times? Well, it's for the sake of emphasizing a point)

Personally, I did not start a blog because it's a trend (maybe partially), it's more like a self-indulgence method that I've been trying to apply, getting in touch with your inner self. As quoted by a friend's blog, it is a form of therapy. (depending on your lifestyle)

..not until recently when my fingers start to itch, thanks to the long break I'm having now in which most of the time spent lazy-ing around at home. Gosh, I am supposed to be deciding which university course that I shall enrol in next year. Yes, I'm the sole decision maker when it comes to my education. My Mum has a lot of faith in what I do, most of the time.

University of Technology Sdney or University of West of England,UK for Accounting and Finance? I shall do some homework before updating this page again.